high school

tonight i went with jesse to his friend's play at piedmont high school (see pic - program). she began writing it last year, and has worked on it since then - at a workshop with berkeley rep, and at a california summer arts institute (the same one jesse attended in l.a.).

it was great. called "high school in four letters" it consisted of a group of monologues framed by four letter titles "love" "girl" "dump" "life" "test" "hate" "safe" "home" "cute" and "talk". and i was sitting there watching and enjoying and laughing, and suddenly noticed the huge chasm between the me of today and the high school me. i'm much more adult than i am kid or young person or teenager. i remember being a teenager and having big ideas and big feelings and big words for all of it. and feeling like on one was listening.

and this play was kind of like that - kids bursting for life to start. feeling trapped by suburbia, and also hopeful for their own shot at adulthood. big ideas big emotions big hope. and i started thinking "they don't even know what the real world is like." or "please, this is nothing. wait until they have to work 40 hours a week."

when did that happen? when did i become the cynical adult? it's a struggle for me to shut my own mouth and listen to them. i want to keep talking and negating and frustrating them. and they just want to be heard. i remember being on the other end of that nonconversation. and i remember it being so frustrating. and i remember thinking that i would never be like that. that i would always understand and never underestimate or belittle or trivialize.