bigger and bigger

i have these moments every month or so when the world and its opportunities feel so expansive that it almost hurts - so many directions to go, possible outcomes for every action and interaction. i can barely keep up. and it hurts to have to choose just one. i end up feeling paralyzed by the possibility, and anxious and scared about the choosing.

and that's when i usually end up bawling in the theater while watching "where the wild things are." that story, so much about another point of expansiveness, and the ending of the playful certainties of childhood, hurts a little. hurts in a sweet way, but still it hurts.